Gjernima’s Response to the ACLU Regarding his Solution to the Gypsy Plague

ACLU director Anthony Romero:

Mr. Gjernima, aren’t you aware that your program for the so-called “Gypsy Plague” is racist and offensive?

Adilim Gjernima:

Not  at all. It is discriminating to the gypsies of Europe but that does not make it anti-gypsy, since it will offer them a better quality of life. Dividing people into racial categories and claiming that they need special treatment is racist. And racism can be only fought by forging mutually benefitial relations. And this is what my program offers, a mutually benefitial relationship by ways of which they (the gypsies) get the hell out of Albania—a win for every Albanian man, woman, and child with more than 50 leks in their pocket—while the  Gypsies themselves benefit from the AmeriSoc. We all know that Americans are wealthier than Albanians and tend to give generously to dirty and smelly people. That’s it, mutual benefit. And didn’t I say there is no such thing as a “gypsy race” ?

Romero:

Wow, Mr Gjernima! I had never considered the issue that way. You are way smarter than the people I work with.

Gjernima:

Thanks. I have no reason to doubt your word.