Gjernima’s Solution for the “Gypsy Plague”, aka the “American Dream for Gypsies” Project

albanian romaAdilim Gjernima and several other representatives from the Albanian-American community held a conference this Saturday where they suggested the  “American Dream for Gypsies” project. Gjernima told the AP that this project would be the final solution for the
Gypsy Plague . The “American Roma child from AlbaniaDream for Gypsies”, as the title itself suggests it, offers a new opportunity to gypsies. It  consists of the granting of green cards for Tirana’s gypsy community and the building a new gypsy neighborhood in San Francisco.  Gjernima told the AP that he is willing to pay up to 40 million US dollars in order to finance the project. Said Gjernima:

“It will look just like Brrakaj, but in a different country.  For the Gypsy community this might be the true opportunity to live the American Dream.  There are some angry NGOs out there who hate my project, but the Albanian Gypsy Community’s representatives loved it, so I’m still quite optimistic.”

Xhevri Bajrami, the leader of the Albanian Gypsy Community said:

“Gjernima told us that  we won’t face discrimination here in San Francisco, since the local community respects different cultures and lifestyles. They are also very wealthy and kind to poor people, which is great for us. And most of all, we are going to live in a country led by a gypsy, one of our kind, president Barack Obama himself.”

“Green cards, a new home and a new life in a better country. This is the best news I have ever heard in years…it is almost unbelievable! I cannot wait for this to happen.”

Trey Parker and Matt Stone Announce that their new South Park Episode is Going to Take Place in Albania

Matt Stone 2009
Matt Stone speaking at the Universal Hilton Hotel on January 9, 2009 in Universal City, California.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone announced today that their next South Park episode is going to take place in Albania, as a tribute to Adilim Gjernima, their Albanian-American friend.  This episode features Cartman being kidnapped by Marko Hoxha, the villain from the movie Taken and sold as a male prostitute in Bari, Italy where is major clientele are queer jews.

The Emmy-awarded South Park was first aired in 1997 and has been one of the most popular shows in America ever since. Adilim Gjernima, who labels himself as “a libertarian but not one of those anarchist aholes”,  is a hardcore South Park fan who appreciates the shows witty political humor and regularly hangs out with its creators. He has also supported Trey Parker and Matt Stone by sending them his own lawyers during the famous case “Tom Cruise inside the closet vs South Park”.

“It has been a great pleasure for us. He’s not only an awesome guy, but has filled us up with great episode ideas.” – commented Parker  for the AP.

Adilim Gjernima Explains us his Refusal to Date Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton - AlbaniaMr Gjernima, could you explain us why are you refusing to date Paris Hilton?

First of, she’s not even that pretty. Actually, she’s ugly and stupid. Her eyes are fake and she’s skinnier than those stray dogs who used to roam around my old village in Kurvelesh.  So I’d rather date the doctors who have redone her face…

Beauty is only skin deep, Mr Gjernima.

I fear that under Paris Hilton’s skin there is nothing else but bones. But she might pose for my malnutrition awareness program’s posters if she wants to, preferably naked.

Naked? So you’d like to see her naked after all!

No, I don’t. If I really wanted to, I could download some of her videos. But the image of a  naked, malnourished  blonde billionaire might inspire 3rd world countries into better parenting  programs.

Now if you’d excuse me, I will have to attend an albanian politics conference.

Of course. Thank you for sharing your insight with us, Mr Gjernima!

You’re welcome.